The stillbirth of his son gave Craig Schulze the most empowering 10 minutes of his life, leading him on the path to share the powerful message of “You’ve got one shot at life, give it your best shot” to all corners of the globe. Craig shares his story.
On Christmas 2013, I was sitting around with my extended family – including all my beautiful nieces and nephews – observing life and thinking about the “next phase” of ours as my wife and I were closing in on being first-time parents.
For me, business and life were a constant progression.
The business was growing, and we had a happy relationship. We owned a house had made some investments and had done lots of overseas travel – we were ready to be parents and start our next chapter.
A month later, that chapter took a turn.
It started as a normal day. Our bags were packed for a holiday, and on the way, we went to the doctor for a routine appointment as it was the 31-week mark of the pregnancy.
Then those dreaded words, “there is no heartbeat.” The instant feeling at that point was like driving down the hill when your stomach drops. I was completely frozen, and it felt like the world had stopped.
After multiple checks to confirm, I asked, “what next.” The response was, “Karen will have to deliver the baby.”
Our bags packed for a holiday, suddenly became the bags packed for the birthing suite, and the next 24 hours were the most challenging of my life.
I never usually show emotion; in fact, I was labelled the Tin Man in wedding speeches. I had never cried in front of my wife, and when challenged in life, I handled it with what I referred to as a resilient mindset.
In the hours watching Karen go through the birthing process, I poured out what felt like 35 years of tears and emotion. While massaging Karen during delivery, my head was buried in a pillow flooded with tears.
Then we heard the words: “it’s a boy; would you like to spend time with him.” After Karen enjoyed the skin-on-skin moments after birth, I said “Yes,” and that led to what was the most empowering 10 minutes of my life.
As I looked down at our son Ethan, I made a pact to him that he would still leave a legacy on this planet through the message, “You’ve Got One Shot at Life, Go and Give It Your Best Shot What Ever That Is for You.”
Over the next two days in the hospital, we spent time with Ethan before it was time to say goodbye. Leaving the hospital after that experience was the most empty I have ever felt, especially when people refer to your child’s birth as the best day of your life.
The next week was crazy. We were signing birth and death certificates, looking for funeral directors and having many conversations with so many wonderful people in our lives.
Post funeral, Karen went down the traditional path and utilised all the built-in support processes such as counselling services and mothers’ groups for stillbirth.
I chose a slightly different path which involved a lot of inner work, embracing practices like meditation, journaling and asking questions about the spiritual side of life.
While we adopted different coping mechanisms, one thing we did was be there for each other. We started Yoga together, took some cooking lessons, the usual holidays and date nights, and were determined to be parents.
On February 16, 2015, we had a beautiful boy Zachery, and on February 1, 2018, along came Zoe. Both children have grown up with Ethan in their life through conversation, and they refer to him as their brother.
I kept my promise of Ethan leaving a legacy. In 2018 I started the project of publishing my first book, “You’ve Got One Shot – The story of a stolen heartbeat & what that taught me about living a meaningful life,” in conjunction with a podcast, “The One-Shot Movement;” a collection of interviews with people who have gone out and done something to make the most of their “One Shot” at life. So, Ethan, my vision and mission is to educate and inspire people through keynote speaking, books, courses, podcasts, and soon-to-be children’s books.
Finally, when I reflect, I often think things happen to you, they happen for you, and maybe the death of Ethan awakened me to the responsibility of being a parent. Perhaps it occurred because I had the mindset and skillset to carry the torch for that “One Shot” message. We will never know.
Challenges in life are a guarantee. It is not a matter of if but when, how big, how often and most importantly, how you deal with them. This was a big challenge, but on reflection, I say my most significant challenge in life created the biggest blessing, and that was to have a purpose, a vision, and a mission.
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Craig Schulze is an entrepreneur, speaker, author, and podcast host with a vision and mission to inspire and educate people to make the most of their “One Shot” at life. Craig’s vision and mission were inspired by the life-changing experience of losing his first son Ethan, stillborn.
That challenge quickly turned to his purpose, and Craig is now sharing the powerful message of “You’ve got one shot at life, give it your best shot” to all corners of the globe.
