Normalising mortality, one DeathTok at a time

A growing community of TikTokers are helping people accept the ‘inevitable’ through humour and, at times, no-nonsense straight talk.

Death is a part of life, though it’s a horrifying reality for the majority. As a society, we have developed an abhorrence of death that borders on a phobia, a taboo topic.

But a new community of social media influencers on Tik Tok comprising hospice caregivers, doctors, paramedical staff, doulas, morticians and others are seeking to change this through perhaps the most unlikely method to discuss death – comedy.

Known as DeathTok, this content category is growing in popularity and creating a platform to discuss mortality in a relaxed and less horrifying atmosphere. While a few deterrent voices are calling this trend morbid, the fact remains that this type of content is driving a positive outlook towards the inevitable end of life.

Some trending DeathTokers

The content creators address various aspects of death, which ranges from the anatomical and physiological changes that happen to the body, to make-up and styling advice for the deceased.

Penny Hawkins (@hospicenursepenny), a hospice quality administrator based in Washington, USA, posted a video in which she dances to a viral song, “Just Water,” by Bryansanon.  The post is captioned: “If your dying person isn’t taking fluids, that’s ok. Their body is shutting down and doesn’t need it,” while the chorus “It’s just water” plays. It is a no-nonsense factual assertion aimed at relatives who fret about hydration for hospice patients.

In another video, Penny is seen feigning anger at a family stopping her from administering morphine to a terminal patient, fearing that the person would get addicted. Her caption read, “They’re suffering, and they’re dying.  Addiction is the least of their worries.”

Lauren Eliza, known to TikTokers as Lauren the Mortician (@love.miss.lauren), shares her experience at work on Tik Tok with generous amounts of dark humour. Her humorous video titles have viewers in stitches. Sample these “Funeral Homes portrayed at the Movies be like” and “What if your head falls off?”

She also shares anecdotes where wives and mistresses end up quarrelling during funerals. Though funny, these stories also point towards the need for preparedness from the relatives to avoid embarrassment and last-minute confusion when it comes to funeral arrangements.

The benefits of DeathTok

Though there are detractors, DeathToks serve a good purpose, especially in the modern society where people are obsessed with prolonging their youth and, in effect, their lives. Advancements in medicine and technology have contributed to this, but the fact remains – that death comes to all of us. Denying this reality or wishing it way won’t do the trick. DeathToks, in a certain way, prepare us for the inevitable. The humorous approach to death helps to lighten the fear of it. Many people ask questions to these content providers, who are also professionals with experience and knowledge about the topic.

Psychologists and grievance counsellors also accept the efficacy of this content type. They agree that as long as these creators don’t trivialise this severe and painful episode of life, a little bit of levity can go a long way in accepting and healing.

José González, a psychologist who specialises in the grieving process, tells El Pais that society has a phobia of death, and with “all phobias, we need to work on looking at fear face to face.”

“They say that mourning is pain plus time,” González is quoted in the publication. “As long as it doesn’t fall into trivialisation, I would also add humour.”